gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
