My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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