if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
