You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
