I wish I could punch you in the face.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize