i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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