I think im going to throw up on grandma
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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