office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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