all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
