Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
