: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
