Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
