we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
