Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
