Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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