at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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