our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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