i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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