Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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