Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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