I wanna passion pit in your ass
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
