and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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