He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
