And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
