you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
