We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
