hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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