I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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