Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
In America we eat man semen.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Someone signed my nipple.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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