Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize