all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
