it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize