East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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