Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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