Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
