Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
