I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
