All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
