This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Holy sore nipples Batman
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
