also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
