"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So squirting runs in the family.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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