brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
