Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Two words: nipple clamps
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