Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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