he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
