I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
