I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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