I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
