ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she pinky promised me she was 18
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize