she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
