It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
