Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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