Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
