I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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