oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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