Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
