I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize