We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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