I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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